This is also the reason why Metamucil doesn’t sell in Europe. Seriously: just looking at the left picture gives me constipation.
(I understand that the pic is a joke, but anyone who has a coffee and a fag after breakfast can attest to their wonderful laxative powers.)
C’mon, your version of that is literally fentanyl
This is the Parisian breakfast. Nothing compared to the Lyonnais breakfast

Oooh le saucisson aux pistaches dans la broche. Gourmand !
Fou de fafa
Beaujolais ? Closer to Lyon… 😁
Surely they don’t eat that much cheese as part of their breakfast
You’re right, they don’t.
The other two cheese platters are out of shot.
This picture HAS to be AI. The cheese wheels are getting progressively smaller. 2 cups of wine. The sauce bowl is barely bigger than a grape ñ. That purple sausage? in the middle looks like a turd. The pickles in the edge are even smaller than the grapes. Sausage baked into pound cake for breakfast seems odd.
Reverse image search shows it 3 years ago. Not AI.
Independent of whether this is AI or not, this is how such plates look like. It’s sad if that is so far out of someone’s reality they have to call the AI card.
No offense. I’m sending this from a place where a meal like this would unfortunately cost me at least 5 of my kidneys 🥹
Don’t compare all of Europe to France! The French love their despresso, that’s on them.
They clearly have not been to a Swedish breakfast buffet.
On the “Europeans” side that’s at least 2 decades out of date.
The expresso coffee part is still true in a good part of Europe, but pretty much everywhere in it nowadays only a small fraction of people smoke and even those who do can’t actually do it inside a coffee shop because they’re not allowed to smoke there anymore, which spoils a great deal of the enjoyment of having a morning coffee.
Is it? I was just in London a couple months ago, the amount of people smoking and vaping there was honestly shocking.
As a fraction of the total it’s still a small percentage, unless things changed a lot in the 5 years since I moved out of there.
While we’re shitting on breakfast culture in Europe I think that Italians have the worst. They have messed up daily rhythm (siesta and then dinner late in the evening)… Actually no, that’s not an excuse. They have garbage breakfast culture, period.
Literally everyone else’s breakfasts are awesome.
Siesta is barely a thing in Italy any more unless you’re like 70+ and rural lol. But a brioche stuffed with ice-cream is the king of breakfasts what are you on about
Granted, I know Italy only from a tourist perspective.
Every damn restaurant closes in the summer in the middle of the day. So do many shops.
Italy rarely have breakfast restaurants - or at least what I’d consider a breakfast restaurant. Some variations of a premade ready to go sandwich ain’t it. And the good places ain’t open in the morning, but rather during brunch hours and serve brunch/lunch more than breakfast.
brioche stuffed with ice-cream
I know you’re joking. You’re kidding, right? :)
Sicilian ice cream sandwiches are a real thing and they are basically the best thing that’s ever happened to breakfast cuisine
please explain in detail these awful italian breakfasts because like greek food i have yet to find a dish in the culture i dislike
The interwebs seem to have a consensus of cappuccino and a sweet pastry
Scrambled eggs or pancakes are the limit of the imagination I’ve seen from Italian restaurants. But most places have pastry or some variation of a sandwich that’s going to be mostly bread.
Stayed in Rome and Florence for a week. The only breakfast stuff we found were indeed either sweet pastries or biscuits, accompanied by fruit and cheese.
How many Italian breakfast dishes you see around 😄?
i only buy sandwiches, coffee and passata at the the italian deli/cafe in town. they bake the best foccacia
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Siesta is NOT Italian
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what do you mean “garbage breakfast”? Tell me what do you think most of Italians eat at breakfast
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Dinner late in the evening is not on the entire penisula
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Yes, but not in the balkans. Went to Bosnia and was served an espresso and a cigarette as an addition to breakfast. It was even on the menu. I should mention that i only asked for a coffee.
It was a culture shock that you can smoke indoors there, especially since I hate smoking.
Wonder what’s so good about coffee and cigarettes combo
I haven’t smoked in 8 years- and every morning when I have my coffee I STILL think, “fuck, a cigarette would elevate this whole experience just right.”
Don’t start. Bad idea.
Former smoker here. The flavor combo is amazing, and both act as stimulants, and I could get my fix for both addictions in one go.
that hippie speedball is beautiful when done right too
I had never heard this term but that’s dope
If you’re a pooping-challenged individual, it really helps knock that out whenever. And that always puts a smile on anyone’s face
Former smoker — don’t try it, but trust that it’s awesome.
It’s a culture that doesn’t eat any damn vegetables, so they need weapons-grade stimulants to get anything out in the morning.
Probably the same as sex and cigarettes.
Or alcohol and cigarettes.
Double the high.
tf is your problem with burritos
Probably get bloated from the beans
I get it.
If beans get you bloated your fiber and vegetable intake gotta be ABYSMAL. And I’m not talking about Taco Bell beans. Just regular beans you cook at home either canned or boiled.
okay that’s fair but burritos are pretty great. not as good as tacos with a side of chips and salsa, but still pretty great.
if you don’t like mexican food i worry our cultural values (mine ranking deliciousness laughably high) don’t line up, but we can probably figure it out.
Nutella is european food
Yes,give us back the Nutella
replace the dart with a vape and the espresso with a XL coffee from tims 4 sugar 3 cream and we are cookin with fire boys
Also, what’s up with Brits and Europeans eating baked beans for breakfast. Beans are not appetizing as a breakfast food.
Wdym “Brits and”? I’ve only ever heard about that being a thing in GB, and I don’t think it’s all that popular there either
‘Baked Beans on Toast’ is a staple breakfast food in Australia too. It’s served in most cafes, usually alongside eggs, bacon, chipolatas, hash brown, and a grilled tomato.

I grew up on these in america since my cousins are british, no other beans work, I remember them leaving and my mom tried to buy the right beans, it took months she shouldve just asked, any other beans suck and dont taste the same or work with breakfast food imo, heins beans + sunnyside up eggs + bacon + toast in one bite is peak
Branston are good too, all others trash
heinz blue can vegetarian beans are, almost like all beans don’t tastse the same
As a Scottish lass, I’m going to shut my fucking mouth.
Don’t worry, Americans are still up a hill trying to find a wild haggis.
They’re slippery wee cunts. The trick is to chase them anticlockwise round the hill so their short leg is on the downhill side. Then they fall over when they try to run.
Unfortunately, the one on the right may be more healthy
Smoking cigarettes is the number one cause of heart disease and cancer globally. If you smoke, quitting is the biggest thing you can do to improve your health
Nah, obesity and high blood pressure are the top causes of heart disease, but smoking is also a major risk factor. Bad food and cigarettes are awful for you. Just drink a coffee and pursue an affair like a good Frenchman.
Take out the cig and it definitely is
Cafestol is the main contributor of cardiovascular disease due to coffee (hugely increases cholesterol). Get filtered coffee, or even better, black/mate tea, Matcha/green tea, Guarana or Guyausa (most of which have the reverse effect on cholesterol btw).
I like how different people have said each different item is the main cause of heart disease
main cause of heart disease is having a heart
Now can we stop being so mean to those poor heartless megacorp voting shareholders?
rare we talking

or

edit: also, no.
Yeah, such a terrible thing. Let’s remove it! :D
Don’t mind the Aztec decorations in my clinic. :D
oh i see we’ve met before

Joke’s on you guys because reading my comments is the main cause of heart disease gottem
Straight up didn’t know this, but I don’t and have never drank coffee and am the only man in my family without cholesterol issues.
Yeah, genetically predisposed here, will likely die of a stroke sometime. Though green (and other) tea, Guarana and Guyausa have lots of cholesterine reducers.
Do you have a source on that?
Sure.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_effects_of_coffee
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cafestol
And some of the ingredients in the alternatives (some of them in coffee too).
So it sounds like cafestol is the most potent cholesterol synthesis agonists, but that it is in such small amounts in the beans that using a paper filter essentially eliminates it entirely. Even without a paper filter, its low enough that the studies show that you would need to drink more than 4 cups a day of unfiltered coffee for it to start having any sort of impact.
metal filter work too?
Much less effective from an (admittedly brief) look around. The finer filtration you get with paper apparently helps filter it out, but it’s such a small amount that even if you were just chewing beans it doesn’t appear to matter.
Ok, fair point.
oh yeah those neuroprotective issues are more important to me than the cardiovascular ones. YMWV
It’s actually a really healthy breakfast because coffee has a lot of physical health benefits and both coffee and a cigarette help against a mental breakdown when you wake up and realize how fucked the world is.
Nicotine might help with short term anxiety symptoms, but addictions of all kinds tend to make anxiety worse overall and dependent on the addictive substance to not be anxious
Yes, that’s why you should never skip your cigarette with breakfast :)
(I quit smoking luckily, I’m just joking around)
Sometimes I wish smoking wasn’t so bad for you.
Nothing hit as good as smoking a cig after a stressful day at work and unwinding.
Nicotine, by itself, really isn’t that much more addictive than caffeine.
As a smoker, that’s a fucking lie.
Did you not read my comment? I said nicotine by itself, not cigarettes.
Vapes are addictive af, what are you talking about?
Not physically addictive, no. The physical addiction to nicotine lasts 3-7 days, while caffeine is 7-14.
It’s not the nicotine that has you truly hooked, it’s the habit. It’s the fact that it’s always on you and you can often hit it as much as you want.
Back before shitty closed disposable systems became popular, people regularly dropped to 0 nicotine without any trouble besides some cravings for a few days (which were about the equivalent of caffeine withdrawals).
Have you stopped smoking or drinking coffee? One is way harder, let me tell you. They are both habits, but nicotine is way more mentally pervasive.
You milage may vary but stopping smoking was way harder than coffee. For me, personally.
I’m way more addicted to vapes than cigarettes. Only reason I ever touch smokes is when I can’t afford a 30$ vape and can only swing 7$ for a pack to get by.
Go with an open system and a bottle of eliquid. More of an upfront investment, but with a refillable system you can adjust your nicotine levels much easier, and it’s significantly cheaper in the long run.
Whilst you’re kind of joking (I hope!) on the health benefits, I would say that deriving some enjoyment from all manner of small pleasures is a pretty good way to keep one’s mental sanity.
I wasn’t joking about the health benefits of coffee. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTVE5iPMKLg
I was thinking that the joke part was about the ciggie rather than the coffee.
Yeah, there are no heath benefits when it comes to smoking. It’s just a way to get some feel good chemicals in our brain which we only need because of the addiction and how fucked the world is right now.
Lived in Europe my whole life and never seen anyone pair coffee and cigarettes as part of their breakfast
In my experience that very much depends on the part of Europe you’re in: the “expresso in the morning” thing is mostly common in Southern Europe and France and back in the day when smoking was much more common and was actually allowed indoors in public venues, people having a ciggy and a morning coffee at a cafe was a pretty common sight.
Places in Europe without the whole tradition of coffee places serving expressos never really had this kind of “breakfast”.
I know it as Greek Breakfast.
It can be enjoyed anywhere or any time, but it’s best served on a balcony in underwear. Greece happens to be a good place to get it in the morning all year round.
we call it the Parisian if it includes healthy amounts of hatred (Parisian Lite without the hatred)
Coffee and sweet pastry, or just coffee is something I commonly saw in Italy (and only Italy)
What part of europe are you from my friend?!?
Vatican City
When I smoked coffee and cigarettes were one of the best combos.
How in the hell do you smoke coffee? Please, tell us your secrets!
I smoked coffee on a field trip to Quebec in the 8th grade. I somehow was able to buy a bowl, and we had nothing to smoke so put coffee in it and put it up in our hotel room. Set off smoke detector. Broke the coffee pot. It was a real mess.
The eighth grade French classes no longer take field trips to Quebec. This was only a small reason why. Co-ed 13 and 14-year-olds on six hour bus rides, two nights in hotels essentially unsupervised. This was the 2000-2001 school year. What a time to be alive.
you can smoke liquids in a cold smoker
Unfortunate missing comma…
That’s because you didn’t go to a european high school
I did
How DARE you to include Nutella in that American stuff!
Almost spit my cigarette in my coffee in disgust.
It’s 50% fat, 50% sugar and disgusting so I get the confusion. But it’s indeed Italian.
There’s nothing wrong with fat, though.
There is a lot wrong with palm oil that has nothing to do with your waistline, and that’s what composes most of Nutella.
Depends on the type of fat. Some fats are really unhealthy, like in American food. Fats in fish are healthy.
So are nut fats
I’m a fan of fat nuts
Gottem
Fish was an example, there are way more food sources with healthy fats than fish and nuts but in general the American highly processed “food” is full of bad fats and worst form of sugars.
i think you’re confusing statesians who can’t cook with statesians who can
And ramen is Japanese.
All commonly eaten in America, granted, but it’s weird to call it “American” food.
Is that a pack of Marlboro cigarettes? Every real European knows that a proper coffee & cigarettes breakfast requires Gauloises.
Came here to say the same thing. Malboro and a Zippo? GTFO!
Petit-déjeuner noir
It’s the extra tar that makes the Gailoises so smoooooooth…
Blue Drum rolling tobacco dark roast coffee black and unsweetened.





















